Trouble with Fangirls
by Mew Universe
Summary: It isn't easy for Link to be the Hero of Time - but what's worse than fighting Ganondorf, at least in his view, is facing his rabid fangirls. Post-OoT oneshot, Link's POV, first person. Written for a fanfiction exchange at deviantArt. Please C&C!


Being the Hero of Time isn't easy. I've been fighting monsters and villains ever since I was ten, and growing older hasn't decreased the dangers I have to face. Every year, more monsters have appeared in the wilderness surrounding Hyrule, most of them plaguing travelers at night. When I'm not dealing with that, I'm traveling beyond Hyrule, locating sources of darkness and eliminating them before they spread. Lately my duties have also included diplomatic missions – meeting with rules of countries both enemies of and allied to Hyrule, making and reinforcing treaties and the like.

I would rather do all of that in one week without sleep than confront my fangirls.

I know that the people of Hyrule admire me and look up to me as their champion. Defeating Ganondorf then being appointed to the king's service gives me a level of fame I'm learning to manage. That isn't what bothers me. What bothers me are the women and girls that have formed clubs focused solely on me – not just on what I've done or am doing, but on me as a mere mortal person. They gush over me, claiming I'm 'attractive' or 'gorgeous' or 'hot'. Sometimes they even fight over "who gets Link" or "who gets to marry Link", not even considering my opinion. I haven't heard a lot of this first-hand, but I have heard enough second-hand accounts to make me worried. Not only that, but I've seen that several fangirls with artistic talent draw me with more muscle or more power than I really do have. It's as if they've turned me into a god. Lately their obsession over me has only gotten worse.

See, when I walk through Hyrule Town or travel around within the kingdom, I'm used to being approached by people. Usually they simply congratulate me on my latest triumph or tell me they wish to be as brave as I am. That I don't mind – I can encourage them in their personal quests for courage or simply thank them for their compliments. It's the times when the fangirls come up to me that I try to get away as fast as I can. They say things like "I love you!" or "You're amazing!" or "Marry me!" or other things that make me cringe or turn my face red.

One incident with the fangirls was even worse than all their swooning. I was walking through Hyrule Town one day, wearing a cloak to keep out the fall chill and hide my face. Princess Zelda and her father the king were expecting me to arrive at the palace shortly, and I only had time to buy some more arrows before then. As I was paying for the arrows, I heard two female voices talking excitedly behind the shopkeeper in the back. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I really should have with what happened.

A hand grabbed my wrist as I was leaving the square. I turned around to see a blonde girl close to my age, the shopkeeper's daughter. She told me that I had paid too much for the arrows and gave me a blue rupee in change. She seemed to recognize me, too, because she giggled a bit and her face turned pink. I thanked her for returning the change and began walking towards the castle again, only to hear a girl squeal my name from behind me. Again I turned around, but this time a brunette girl ran past the blonde girl and clung to me, saying "Oh my goddess, it IS you! My sister didn't believe me!" I didn't say anything, so she yammered on about how amazing she thought I was.

It took a bit of tugging, but I managed to free my arm from her grip. "Look miss," I pleaded, "I hate to be rude, but the king has called me on urgent business…" Screams of other town girls cut me off.

The time for chivalry was over – I ran for the castle, hoping to get away from those maniac fangirls. Some of them managed to catch up, though, and tackled me before I reached the gates. Soon, they all were on top of me. Elbows and feet bruised me all over. I could barely breathe with my face half in the dirt, and I swore a few of them were trying to take off my belt or my boots.

"Halt, in the name of the king!" The guards had finally found me. "Stand up and stand back, or you're under arrest!" they shouted at the girls. They got off me rather quickly, which made me glad. I struggled to raise myself onto my knees and was coughing dust out of my lungs.

"Are you alright, Sir Link?" a guard asked as he helped me stand up. Between coughs, I managed to tell him I had been better. He waved for another guard to bring me a horse. I mounted it and rode through the gate towards the castle. I did look back once and saw that the mob of girls looked both sad and embarrassed. It was their own fault, though, so I didn't really feel bad for them.

Anyways, I rode to the castle and went straight to the throne room. The king and the princess were already there, as expected. I must have looked like a mess, but I still had my duty to fulfill. I knelt before them and apologized for my tardiness.

"What happened to you, Link?" Princess Zelda asked, worried.

"You look like you were attacked by an army of Moblins," the king commented.

"Worse," I replied. "Fangirls."

"Fangirls?" the king asked. It seemed he hadn't heard of the term before.

I explained, "A group of young women who… have an unhealthy obsession over me." I then related to them what happened outside the castle gates.

The king stood up and thrust the end of his staff against the floor. "This is an outrage!" he roared. "My champion cannot even walk the streets of Hyrule itself without being attacked!"

"Father," Princess Zelda spoke up gently. "It has only occurred once."

The king calmed down when she said that. Still, he asked me, "Have you been harassed by these young women before?"

"A few times, but not on this scale," I admitted. I mean, there have been times where one of two fangirls would come up to me and tell me how much they "love" me, or other times where they would follow me around when I came home from traveling. There are also those other things they've done that I mentioned earlier, as well, but I didn't tell any of this to the king or the princess at the time.

"The actions of these 'fangirls', as you call them, must be stopped!" the king announced.

"But Your Highness," I protested, "wasn't there a more pressing matter you called me –"

The king held up a hand to stop me. "Yes, but you cannot fully serve me or the kingdom of Hyrule if this group of young women constantly put your life at stake."

"Or your honorable reputation," Princess Zelda added.

"Or my sanity," I added to the list.

"Precisely," the king finished. "So, before we discuss the matter I summoned you for, we must discuss your safety here in Hyrule." The three of us sat at the council table for this discussion. Now, I don't like being the center of attention, but I had to be at that moment.

At first, the king was going to declare that all young women of the kingdom between the ages of 13 and 25 would not be allowed to approach me within ten or fifteen feet. I reminded him that his own daughter Princess Zelda was included in that age group, making the idea inconvenient since we work together regularly. We also discussed giving me a personal guard, but that was quickly ruled out as being burdensome when inside Hyrule. I mentioned the Mask Shop in town and how the owner sells me masks for discounted prices, but I don't remember why neither the princess nor the kind approved of my wearing masks frequently. I don't even remember what most of our ideas were. Basically we weren't finding a good solution to the problem. Princess Zelda even commented near the end of the discussion, "It's a shame Ruto cannot leave Zora's Domain for long periods of time."

"Ruto?" I wondered what could have possessed Princess Zelda to mention the Zora princess.

A clever gleam lit Princess Zelda's eyes. "She still believes you to be her fiancé. She would drive away every fangirl and protect you from them jealously." Hearing that logic, I couldn't help but concede that the princess had a point. Not only that, but, surprisingly, Ruto isn't as crazed about me as the fangirls are. She's preferable company over any of those young women.

"Have you ever told any of these 'fangirls' how their behavior troubles you?" the king suddenly asked.

The question took me by surprise. I admitted that the idea had never crossed my mind. "Quite frankly," I told them, "whenever any fangirls come near me, all I can think of is that I need to get away from them."

"There is the solution!" Princess Zelda exclaimed. She slammed her hand against the table in her enthusiasm. "You must let them know your feelings about what they have done!"

"What good would that do?" I asked.

"They would know how their actions of devotion cause you more trouble than it's worth, then they would stop."

I just stared at her. "Do you think that'll work?" I asked.

"I'm certain it will," Princess Zelda replied. She looked certain, too, and I know that once she has an idea it's hard to make her change her mind. She then said to the king, "Father, let's make a proclamation for all the people of Hyrule to come together to hear an important message from the Hero of Time."

That was a week ago. The king agreed to Zelda's proposition, setting the date of my speech to be tomorrow afternoon. I have what I'm going to say written down, but speaking to large crowds has never been my strong suit. I hope it goes well and that I don't have to worry about the affections of those young women.

Still, fangirls cause a lot more trouble than all the monsters in the world could ever dream to manage.

* * *

MU: Yay for my second attempt at writing first person POV! The first story was my story "Malon's Tale of Friendship", then I decided to try writing from Link's POV for a writing exchange at the deviantArt group #ficdistro. This story was written for the dA user Werewolf-Hero, but I'm posting it here for users to read, as well. If you like it or hate it, please leave a comment after you read! I love hearing from readers!


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